Wednesday, June 14, 2006

I use to write on here like every day now I barely ever write on here. hmm..what to write about.. umm... I'm staying with Amber Friday night ^_^ can't wait. I hope she isn't mad at me, like I was in a really sad mood last night n I don't know.. I'm kinda afraid I made her mad at me or something, I hope I didn't. But I don't know I haven't got to talk to her since so... I don't really know if I did or not. n Amber I don't mean to always be sorry..I just always feel like I should be for some reason n I don't know why. But I'm workin on it.. but it's hard... n I'm gonna try not to be so sorry all the time.. so yeah. okay.. I don't know what else to write. I love you Amber.. your the bestest!

Monday, June 05, 2006

I'm so bored right now.. nobody's online n Amber's sleeping so I can't talk to her.Umm.. I had a good weekend, I'm having a good morning.. everything right now is A okay. haha..I don't know what else to say right now.. I'm lost for words... for the first time in a long time I don't know what to say.. hahahaha.. Okay, going now.. I love you Amber.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

So last night.. was a really bad night. Somebody told me a lot of stuff that really made me feel bad.... I try so hard to make people happy n I don't know I shouldn't because I don't make em happy I guess, so I don't know. I can't be perfect like some people are... like Amber girlfriend Sierra... I got compared to her last night.. n thats really what hurt me the most, because I'm not good enough for Amber, at least thats how it seemed. N I only tell Amber not to do somethings because I don't want her getting hurt... she's my best friend n I'm just trying to keep her safe, but nobody else see's that, so I don't know. But I'm done writing for now. I Love You Amber....

Sunday, May 28, 2006

I got home at like 8 this morning everything was fine until I asked if I could go to Amber's n then my grandma just flips out on me... n I started crying because she was being really mean.. then I called Amber.. n I wasn't even allowed to go over to her house anyways.. her mom's keeping me n her from seeing each other.. I tried telling Amber that it was because she didn't like me.. but Amber's all like no.. my mom likes you n things but yeah I don't really think she does, but I don't know. I miss Amber like so much right now.. grrrr.... it's kinda bringing me down. but I'm gonna think of happy things... My grandma told me to move out if I was so unhappy here.. n omg I so wish I could.. I wish I could move in with AMber.. haha... but yeah her parents wouldn't let me n yeah amber would get sick of me.. well I gotta get off here n stop writing.. got a bed room to clean.. ugh.. don't want to but yeah. I love you amber n I'm sorry if I did anything. okay? I love you amber more than anything....=)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I don't know how to explain it,
If only you could truly see,
How much I really care for you,
How much you mean to me.
I look forward to seeing you every day,
The grin that belongs only to you,
When I see you I can't help but smile,
There is just something about you.
When you put your hand in mine,
My heart suddenly beats faster,
I wish I could tell you right then and there,
That my life could never be better.
When you wrap your arms around me,
For a simple, gentle hug,
I want to stay in that moment forever,
And tell you how much you really are loved.
When we gradually come close enough together,
Our lips touch, a kiss,
Nothing around us seems to matter,
Because there is nothing sweeter than this.
No words could ever express how much you mean to me,
I hope you have these feelings for me, too;
I can't figure out just what it is,
But there is definitely something very special about you.

***~~~***I LOVE AMBER***~~~***

Monday, May 22, 2006

So lately I've been thinking about my past a lot n I don't know why. But it's been really bring me down. I wish that I could just forget about everything that happened in my past. I think the best thing that is kinda behind me is me meeting Amber n Sara. Especially Amber cause me n her been best friends since we met basically. She's been through some of the hard times n my life with me n I'm actually still surprised that shes still by my side, but I'm really glad she is. I was talking about my dad over the weekend n I still don't understand why he stays away from me. I mean amber, sara n megan are all like he wants to see you n things, I just don't see it cause I mean if he wanted to see me then he would. He wouldn't just stay away.. I mean he could pick up a phone n call me, but no he doesn't. He doesn't do anything n he never has. I mean all my life I grew up without a dad n I thought something was wrong with me cause all my friends had dad's n I was the only one who didn't. I remember asking my mom one year for a dad for christmas n it broke her heart. I just wish I could be born again n have my dad there...but I know that ain't gonna happen so I should just stop wishing he was in my life... I'm done writing now, I've wrote too much.

Friday, May 19, 2006

I can't wait until 3 like it seems so far away n its not... like it feels like its never going to come.. grrr.... haha.. I can't wait to see Amber.. I haven't seen her since Tuesday!!!!!!! Hahaha... Okay, well thats all I gots to say..

About Me:

Name: Shandi
Age: 17 years old
Location: Lancaster, Ohio
Birthday: September 13th

>>I Love Amber! <<



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