Thursday, March 16, 2006
today was bad... but right now its alright i guess i felt alot better after andy stopped drinking hes sleeping now so thats good i guess even though i really wish i could talk to him right now i really miss him=( but i guess i'll just call him later. i was so worried about him earlier n i didn't know what to do i wish i would have been there that way i would have known that he wouldn't do anything stupid n maybe if i would have been there he wouldn't have even started drinking. i care about him soo much n he doesn't see why even though i've told him a thousand times. that boy means everything to me.... i mean i don't know what i'd do without him. he talks to me when im sad, mad,frustrated, happy, weird, crazy...i mean he doesn't care wht kind of mood im in.. hes just always there to talk to me no matter what. i'm so glad that i met him n i dont know sometimes i wonder if he regrets meeting me cause of the way he acts with me sometimes.. but i don't know thats prolly just me worrying about what he thinks of me i dont really know though. i realized today that i can't be mad about him being with sydney.. i mean if he loves her then thats all that matters doesn't matter how far she lives from him.. as long as hes some what happy, wish he was completely happy but maybe someday he will be n hopefully its soon cause thats all i want is for him to be HAPPY! if hes happy then i am too.... but i'll be happy as long as hes in my life never do i wanna lose him! i love him more than anything... and not as more than my best friend anymore either... i think thats all me n him will ever be but its better that way cause i dont wanna mess up our friendship by wanting more... but i love him.. and i consider him My Andy! yeah hes sydneys too but as a boyfriend... with me... hes my andy cause hes my best friend.. kinda like a brother! so hes mine.. makes sense right? prolly not but oh well.... I love you Andy!