Thursday, April 13, 2006

I'm sitting here in my room bored out of mind which thats nothing new. I feel so weird right now, its like I'm here but I don't feel like I am, my body feels numb and I'm lost of words to say. I don't know what to do, I just sit and ponder the reasons why I'm here. Each day it's like I'm losing control of myself more n more everyday...Feeling like I'm losing/lost everything I ever had then come to find I never really had it. I feel so worthless at times and I just wish I could disappear, at times I feel like I could be more than what I am, but then I realize this is all I'll ever be... a nobody just a lifeless body stuck in this world. I'm losing my faith n my will to go on, I try n try to say I'm good and fight back these tears I wanna shed. My body n mind have nothing but pain, pain from what I've went thru each n everyday. Maybe in time it'll all fade, maybe in time I'll beable to say...I like the life I live.... but only time will tell how my life will go, and that is something I dred. I'm lost in this broken smile, a broken home where I am all alone. No ones there but yet I keep calling, sooner or later I'll realize that nobody really ever cared..... I'm just covering up all my pain, with this fake smile....=\

3 Cuts:

At 3:10 PM, Blogger //\\ ||\|| ||)) || said...

I'm sorry your body feels numb babe i love you i hope u have fun n logan

 
At 6:47 PM, Blogger //\\ ||\|| ||)) || said...

I misses you babe....your out on ur date with justin rite now....me im bored outta my mind..i did manage to fall asleep for an hour nd im still tired but i cant sleep...i was thinkin bout calling sydney but eh..i only got 2 minz on my fone card left nd i know she wont answer her cell so it will be wasted....oh well idc...so im just sitting here...yeah...doing nothing....watching this um idk wat its called sum kinda cop show...talking about this purple thing that idk wat it is....i wanna pet ur kitty ^_^ lol...idk if u'd let me pet it hard tho...nd idk..i kinda want to...lol....just u kno let my fingers run right down ur kitty...that'd be gr8.....but yeah i got a few hours b4 im allowed to do that..im still on lint...lol but id love to lick ur kitty that wuld be awesome..plus u still owe me breakfast...

 
At 1:30 AM, Blogger Ames said...

I have a blogger, so, I'm writing you like this hoping it works. I hope you've had a good day. Well i'm off to dream-land.

Thanks,
Ames~

 

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About Me:


Name: Shandi
Age: 17 years old
Location: Lancaster, Ohio
Birthday: September 13th


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