Monday, May 22, 2006
So lately I've been thinking about my past a lot n I don't know why. But it's been really bring me down. I wish that I could just forget about everything that happened in my past. I think the best thing that is kinda behind me is me meeting Amber n Sara. Especially Amber cause me n her been best friends since we met basically. She's been through some of the hard times n my life with me n I'm actually still surprised that shes still by my side, but I'm really glad she is. I was talking about my dad over the weekend n I still don't understand why he stays away from me. I mean amber, sara n megan are all like he wants to see you n things, I just don't see it cause I mean if he wanted to see me then he would. He wouldn't just stay away.. I mean he could pick up a phone n call me, but no he doesn't. He doesn't do anything n he never has. I mean all my life I grew up without a dad n I thought something was wrong with me cause all my friends had dad's n I was the only one who didn't. I remember asking my mom one year for a dad for christmas n it broke her heart. I just wish I could be born again n have my dad there...but I know that ain't gonna happen so I should just stop wishing he was in my life... I'm done writing now, I've wrote too much.